The beginning of our story

I'm Ashley Nisson. I wanted to share my husband and my journey on trying to get pregnant and start our own family. My husbands name is Hans Nisson. we have been married for almost 3 years now. I have know him pretty much my whole life. We grew up a few houses apart, his sisters use to babysit my sister and I when we were younger. Hans is 10 years older than me, I actually really enjoy him being much older than me. I have always been told that I would never be able to have kids and I was okay with that for a while I always planned on adoption ( which is still on the table). I was diagnosed at a young age with PCOS and insulin resistance I believe I was 14 at the time. I began to gain quit a bit of weight and my mom took me to the doctor to get some blood work done. At this time I still never had a period. Over the years I gained more weight and began to develop facial hair. I got recommended to a endocrinologist Dr. James Grua. He started me on Metformin, and some facial cream. Let me state Metformin SUCKS!!!! It makes you so sick to your stomach I spend so much time running to the bathroom and being in the bathroom. Over the next few years I got blood test pretty much every month to check levels and making sure the medication was working. Fast forward to 2008 I was 18 and still no period. Dr Grua started me on a shot called BYETTA for diabetics. I was on this for a little over 4 months , this I injected into my stomach once a day. I soon had my first period ever and holy cow!! I don't know why I wanted to have a period after I started. Cramps, sever mood swings, you know the deal. So I was still struggling with my weight. Fast forward again when Hans and I started dating. Hans at the time didn't want kids and I was still being told that I couldn't have kids so I was fine with that. Hans and I moved in together December of 2013 YES  shocking as it is in this small town of Utah we moved in together unmarried and having relations with each other. I began to have my first miscarriage in February 2014, I was cramping really bad and started bleeding heavily. I went into my OBGYN and they ran some test and told me I was pregnant but was miscarrying . I told Hans and we were both shocked as I have been told pretty much my whole life that I would never have kids. So I went on birth control to balance out hormones after the miscarriage . They made me so sick so we went off them. Over the years I have had to date 6 miscarriages. My Last one was November 14th 2016. In the early months of 2016 Hans shocked me after my emotional break downs after each miscarriage and told me he wanted to seriously try and have kids. He said that he wasn't getting any younger and wanted to be a dad. So I researched and researched for the best fertility doctor in Utah . I found Dr. Foulk of Utah Fertility Center. I called in February 2016 and we got an appointment for June 23rd 2016. I was seriously so nervous on going to that appointment. Dr.Folk is such a sweet guy he was floored that I have been told my whole life that we couldn't have kids. there are only 3  things that you need to have to have baby. #1 A egg  #2 A womb. #3 Man's sperm. as long as you have those 3 things you can have a baby. Well We have all 3 of those things.  So lets just say we were pretty upset when we found out that we could have kids all along that we just needed someones help and their information on the subject. I was very upset with the past doctors I have seen over the years that put all those negative thoughts in my head and telling me that I would never be a mother. That I would never get to experience that joy and feeling of another human being growing inside of me and that bound that you feel with your baby. So they were still concerned about my weight which I agree 100% but its been an up hill battle for so long. When you have PCOS it causes weight gain and the cure they say for PCOS is to loose weight. yet i still have meet a lot of skinny women who have PCOS so I don't know how accurate it truly is. So they wanted me to diet and loose 50 pounds before we would start any more serious treatments. So it began I was so damn determine this time to loose the weight and keep it off so I could have a baby. I started immediately, I was having a protein shake for breakfast and lunch along with working out up to tow hours a day. I was so physically exhausted each day along with mentally  exhausted. For about 3 months I did this and yes I would slip and pig out or not work out, but I was down 25 pound and I was pretty dang proud of myself. I then hit a Plato with my weight . I had a follow up appointment the end of September. I meet with Dr. Folks NP named Heather, OMG can I just take a moment and say how much I truly LOVE her she is a heaven sent! OK so I was meeting with Heather and she was somewhat upset with me on how hard i have been pushing myself. She then worked with my and set up a whole diet plan for me which is very similar to the Atkins diet and also not that much working out. I was putting my body into a starvation period because I was not eating enough and working out so much. I started on the new diet plan and started loosing weight again slowly but surely . In November I started having sever cramps and just felt like something was wrong. I still went to work that day, around 11 or so i went to the bathroom and saw parts coming out . I called my OBGYN , that was my first ever partial D&C done in office. I went home and just cried. I called in sick to my boss asking for the next two days off for recovery and she said no problem ( well turned out to be a bigger problem later but oh well) . So  those two days off felt like an eternity . Thank goodness Hans had those days off while he was switch jobs, I don't think I could have handled to be home by myself. I remember crawling into bed one night during those two days and just cuddling up to Hans and crying. I felt like an absolute failure ,  how could I do this again and again , this is supposed to be one of the main thing women are suppose to be able to do and I cant do it. there was so many negative thoughts that came into my head I could write a book of all the things. I made an appointment with Heather and we cried , talked , and ordered more blood work. she was concerned about me having a blood clot disorder that develops on the placenta. So more blood work, it came back saying that I had a small blood clot disorder and they put me on a blood thinner. I went back to working and normal life , still dieting  and working out. The holidays are always hard Christmas isn't the same if you don't have kids. I try my best to act normal but sometimes it gets to you. during December the fertility center switched my OBGYN for me they didn't care for the office I was going too . January 6th I had an appointment with the new OBGYN, I have to say I was very impressed with him. He works with the Fertility center very well. He ordered of course more blood work twice a month mainly during ovulation time to see if my levels are high enough. He also ordered an HSG test A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test. It looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them.During the test, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube. That tube is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes. They can also show a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. The test also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall. Since the miscarriage in November I was going with out a period , they also prescribed me Provera to help get it started again. The following week I had a appointment with the fertility center again. I meet with them and they decided after talking with the OBGYN that they would move us on to the next steps or monitoring my cycles with ultrasounds and take a higher dose of Clomid to help my eggs and then timed relations with my husband then follow up with a pregnancy test to see if it worked. They told us most patience take 3-4 month to get pregnant when doing this. So Thank you for reading all of this. I hope to reach other people who are struggling with infertility and to let them know that they are not alone.