Husband and Stress Coping Ideas

So one of the most important things I think in life is having that one person. That one person who will support you no matter how stupid the idea might be. Who is there to listen to you just talk and talk, who will go that extra mile just to make you smile. This person right here is my person!! HANS is my person , my best friend, my everything! I thought it would be a nice change to see what he thinks of everything and how he handles my craziness most days. So I have been thinking of questions I could ask him on all day. Your husband is there for support, you choice this man to be your partner for better or for worse. Believe me infertility is probably a low part of your marriage it causes a lot of stress financially and mentally. You need to remember that your person is there for you! 

 So question time for my husband!!

What did you think when we first discovered out that we could have kids we just needed help?

~ I thought that was a good and it was a step before adaption.

What exactly made you change your mind and want to have a kid?

~ I was really never against it I don't think, just didn't know when the right time would be to have one. 

Are you hopeful for our next step?

~ Yes

How has the whole fertility treatment process been in your opinion?

~It hasn't directly effected me as it has effected you. I know that it toys with your emotions bad .

Do you think I've gone crazy? 

~ a couple times. 

How far do you think you are willing to go for us to have a baby?

~Until there are no more options and then move on to adoption.

Does it make you upset that I cant have a baby without all this help?

~No it is part of life.

What has made you most frustrated about this process?

~How much it actually cost to do all of this.

With fertility treatments there is always a higher chance of having more than one, how do you feel if we end up having twins or more?

~Fine not really a choice if it happens it happens. 

Is there anything that you are afraid of since we have started this?

~Not being able to afford it.

How has the miscarriages effected you?

~ You feel bad but you cant worry about the stuff we cant control.

Do you think this has this effected our marriage?

~No I don't think so at all

                                                                                                                              

Stress Coping Ideas

 Find ways to reduce stress. The best way to calm your anxiety and lift your spirits is to rely on tried-and-true coping strategies you've used in the past. Some people, for instance, find that taking a walk or starting a new hobby helps them release tension. Others discover that reaching out to loved ones, meditating, praying, seeing a therapist, joining a support group, exercising, doing yoga. I started doing Hot Yoga and it is doing helping very well.

Acknowledge your feelings.~Going through infertility tests and procedures month after month can be emotionally, physically, and financially draining. And feeling as if you have no control over your body  

Share your questions and fears. ~ As you deal with infertility, it helps to have people around who can help answer your questions, be sensitive to your feelings, and understand your fears and concerns. By meeting other infertile couples, you'll be assured that you're not alone. And, most of all, you'll find other like-minded people who share your problems, feelings, and concerns.

 Allow yourself to cry and be angry. ~By all means, don't try to repress your feelings of anger, guilt, or sorrow. If you need to cry about the "unfairness" of another pregnancy or birth announcement, go ahead and do so.

 Allow yourself to grieve. ~Even though you hope to have a successful pregnancy, your unconscious mind has already begun grieving for the biological child you've not yet had. Since unresolved grief can be a major source of anxiety, you'll have to go through a period of mourning in order to feel better again.

Stay connected to family and friends~. Another step in reducing stress is to build a bridge back to your family and close friends. Though you may feel a strong connection toward friends or acquaintances who are having fertility problems, it also helps to allow those who are closest to you to offer their love and support. If your friends and relatives are uninformed about infertility, you'll need to educate them about what you're going through.

Communicate with your partner. ~Infertility can take a toll on a marriage, often causing unspoken resentment, feelings of inadequacy, sexual pressure, and tension between couples. What's more, a man and a woman might respond differently to the crisis, with men acting more emotionally distant and women more openly distraught. If you feel that the stress of infertility is causing a rift between you and your partner, it may help to seek out counseling.

Try a little tenderness. ~Another way to reconnect with your partner is by reestablishing intimacy in both nonsexual and sensual ways. For instance, you can make your partner a special meal or drink, buy him/her a fun present, get tickets to a concert or athletic event, or simply hug, hold hands, go for a walk, or give and receive relaxing back rubs. 

Get informed.~ One of the worst instigators of stress is uncertainty about the future. And if you've been through many months, if not years, of infertility treatments, you've no doubt lived with uncertainty for a fairly long time. To alleviate some of your questions (and uncertainty) about the future, it helps to actively do some research on your present situation and options.