HSG Test

Thursday January 26th 2017 I had my HSG test. I called my doctor and had them write me Valium for my anxiety and to relax my muscles. My husband could not get work off so my mom volunteered to take me, I am glad she did. I took the medication about 45 minutes before the test, by the time we got to the hospital I was feeling really good! I got signed in and waited. I had a student radiologist tech come and get me. We went back and they had me change into a gown. OMG how I hate those gowns! They gave me two one for the front one for the back. They were so short I swear my butt was hanging out!! We went back to the room and had to wait for the PA to finish up another procedure. The techs were so sweet, I enjoyed talking to them.  I am apparently very talkative when I am on pain pills along with thinking I am whispering when I am not! 

Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) : You will lie on your back on an exam table. Your feet will be raised and supported by stirrups. This allows your doctor to look at your genital area. They will put a smooth, curved tool called a speculum into your vagina. The speculum gently spreads apart the vaginal walls. This allows the doctor to see the inside of the vagina and the cervix. The cervix may be held in place with a clamp called a tenaculum. The cervix is washed with a special soap. A stiff tube (cannula) or a flexible tube (catheter) is put through the cervix into the uterus. The X-ray dye is put through the tube. If the fallopian tubes are open, the dye will flow through them. It will then spill into the belly where it will be absorbed by the body. If a fallopian tube is blocked, the dye will not pass through. The X-ray pictures are shown on a TV screen during the test. If another view is needed, the exam table may be tilted or you may be asked to change position. 

After the test, the cannula or catheter and the speculum are removed. This test usually takes 15 to 30 minutes.You will most likely feel some cramping like menstrual cramps during the test. The amount of pain you have depends on what problems the doctor finds and treats during the test. Because of the Valium and other medications it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be pain wise. It was very uncomfortable still. Mainly as they entered into the cervix and when they pushed the dye in. I started to cramp pretty bad when the dye was added.  The staff was so sweet and made sure I was okay or if we needed to stop. After the test, some of the dye will leak out of the vagina. You also may have some vaginal bleeding for several days after the test, as well as cramping. I definitely am experiencing sever cramping after the test.

(photo credit to my mom)

We got the email of my results today saying that everything looked normal on our test. I am glad it came back normal , but I wish it showed something so that we would have a clue on what was going on. I guess I was hoping for a answer. I get frustrated with the whole process some days, I have gone through so many test so far and its always the same answer "we are not sure why you are not getting pregnant or why you are not keeping the baby longer than 5 weeks." I hope this sends us in the right direction now. I am trying to stay positive but some days it is hard. 

(some photos on what a HSG test looks like and labels )

Husband and Stress Coping Ideas

So one of the most important things I think in life is having that one person. That one person who will support you no matter how stupid the idea might be. Who is there to listen to you just talk and talk, who will go that extra mile just to make you smile. This person right here is my person!! HANS is my person , my best friend, my everything! I thought it would be a nice change to see what he thinks of everything and how he handles my craziness most days. So I have been thinking of questions I could ask him on all day. Your husband is there for support, you choice this man to be your partner for better or for worse. Believe me infertility is probably a low part of your marriage it causes a lot of stress financially and mentally. You need to remember that your person is there for you! 

 So question time for my husband!!

What did you think when we first discovered out that we could have kids we just needed help?

~ I thought that was a good and it was a step before adaption.

What exactly made you change your mind and want to have a kid?

~ I was really never against it I don't think, just didn't know when the right time would be to have one. 

Are you hopeful for our next step?

~ Yes

How has the whole fertility treatment process been in your opinion?

~It hasn't directly effected me as it has effected you. I know that it toys with your emotions bad .

Do you think I've gone crazy? 

~ a couple times. 

How far do you think you are willing to go for us to have a baby?

~Until there are no more options and then move on to adoption.

Does it make you upset that I cant have a baby without all this help?

~No it is part of life.

What has made you most frustrated about this process?

~How much it actually cost to do all of this.

With fertility treatments there is always a higher chance of having more than one, how do you feel if we end up having twins or more?

~Fine not really a choice if it happens it happens. 

Is there anything that you are afraid of since we have started this?

~Not being able to afford it.

How has the miscarriages effected you?

~ You feel bad but you cant worry about the stuff we cant control.

Do you think this has this effected our marriage?

~No I don't think so at all

                                                                                                                              

Stress Coping Ideas

 Find ways to reduce stress. The best way to calm your anxiety and lift your spirits is to rely on tried-and-true coping strategies you've used in the past. Some people, for instance, find that taking a walk or starting a new hobby helps them release tension. Others discover that reaching out to loved ones, meditating, praying, seeing a therapist, joining a support group, exercising, doing yoga. I started doing Hot Yoga and it is doing helping very well.

Acknowledge your feelings.~Going through infertility tests and procedures month after month can be emotionally, physically, and financially draining. And feeling as if you have no control over your body  

Share your questions and fears. ~ As you deal with infertility, it helps to have people around who can help answer your questions, be sensitive to your feelings, and understand your fears and concerns. By meeting other infertile couples, you'll be assured that you're not alone. And, most of all, you'll find other like-minded people who share your problems, feelings, and concerns.

 Allow yourself to cry and be angry. ~By all means, don't try to repress your feelings of anger, guilt, or sorrow. If you need to cry about the "unfairness" of another pregnancy or birth announcement, go ahead and do so.

 Allow yourself to grieve. ~Even though you hope to have a successful pregnancy, your unconscious mind has already begun grieving for the biological child you've not yet had. Since unresolved grief can be a major source of anxiety, you'll have to go through a period of mourning in order to feel better again.

Stay connected to family and friends~. Another step in reducing stress is to build a bridge back to your family and close friends. Though you may feel a strong connection toward friends or acquaintances who are having fertility problems, it also helps to allow those who are closest to you to offer their love and support. If your friends and relatives are uninformed about infertility, you'll need to educate them about what you're going through.

Communicate with your partner. ~Infertility can take a toll on a marriage, often causing unspoken resentment, feelings of inadequacy, sexual pressure, and tension between couples. What's more, a man and a woman might respond differently to the crisis, with men acting more emotionally distant and women more openly distraught. If you feel that the stress of infertility is causing a rift between you and your partner, it may help to seek out counseling.

Try a little tenderness. ~Another way to reconnect with your partner is by reestablishing intimacy in both nonsexual and sensual ways. For instance, you can make your partner a special meal or drink, buy him/her a fun present, get tickets to a concert or athletic event, or simply hug, hold hands, go for a walk, or give and receive relaxing back rubs. 

Get informed.~ One of the worst instigators of stress is uncertainty about the future. And if you've been through many months, if not years, of infertility treatments, you've no doubt lived with uncertainty for a fairly long time. To alleviate some of your questions (and uncertainty) about the future, it helps to actively do some research on your present situation and options.

The beginning of our story

I'm Ashley Nisson. I wanted to share my husband and my journey on trying to get pregnant and start our own family. My husbands name is Hans Nisson. we have been married for almost 3 years now. I have know him pretty much my whole life. We grew up a few houses apart, his sisters use to babysit my sister and I when we were younger. Hans is 10 years older than me, I actually really enjoy him being much older than me. I have always been told that I would never be able to have kids and I was okay with that for a while I always planned on adoption ( which is still on the table). I was diagnosed at a young age with PCOS and insulin resistance I believe I was 14 at the time. I began to gain quit a bit of weight and my mom took me to the doctor to get some blood work done. At this time I still never had a period. Over the years I gained more weight and began to develop facial hair. I got recommended to a endocrinologist Dr. James Grua. He started me on Metformin, and some facial cream. Let me state Metformin SUCKS!!!! It makes you so sick to your stomach I spend so much time running to the bathroom and being in the bathroom. Over the next few years I got blood test pretty much every month to check levels and making sure the medication was working. Fast forward to 2008 I was 18 and still no period. Dr Grua started me on a shot called BYETTA for diabetics. I was on this for a little over 4 months , this I injected into my stomach once a day. I soon had my first period ever and holy cow!! I don't know why I wanted to have a period after I started. Cramps, sever mood swings, you know the deal. So I was still struggling with my weight. Fast forward again when Hans and I started dating. Hans at the time didn't want kids and I was still being told that I couldn't have kids so I was fine with that. Hans and I moved in together December of 2013 YES  shocking as it is in this small town of Utah we moved in together unmarried and having relations with each other. I began to have my first miscarriage in February 2014, I was cramping really bad and started bleeding heavily. I went into my OBGYN and they ran some test and told me I was pregnant but was miscarrying . I told Hans and we were both shocked as I have been told pretty much my whole life that I would never have kids. So I went on birth control to balance out hormones after the miscarriage . They made me so sick so we went off them. Over the years I have had to date 6 miscarriages. My Last one was November 14th 2016. In the early months of 2016 Hans shocked me after my emotional break downs after each miscarriage and told me he wanted to seriously try and have kids. He said that he wasn't getting any younger and wanted to be a dad. So I researched and researched for the best fertility doctor in Utah . I found Dr. Foulk of Utah Fertility Center. I called in February 2016 and we got an appointment for June 23rd 2016. I was seriously so nervous on going to that appointment. Dr.Folk is such a sweet guy he was floored that I have been told my whole life that we couldn't have kids. there are only 3  things that you need to have to have baby. #1 A egg  #2 A womb. #3 Man's sperm. as long as you have those 3 things you can have a baby. Well We have all 3 of those things.  So lets just say we were pretty upset when we found out that we could have kids all along that we just needed someones help and their information on the subject. I was very upset with the past doctors I have seen over the years that put all those negative thoughts in my head and telling me that I would never be a mother. That I would never get to experience that joy and feeling of another human being growing inside of me and that bound that you feel with your baby. So they were still concerned about my weight which I agree 100% but its been an up hill battle for so long. When you have PCOS it causes weight gain and the cure they say for PCOS is to loose weight. yet i still have meet a lot of skinny women who have PCOS so I don't know how accurate it truly is. So they wanted me to diet and loose 50 pounds before we would start any more serious treatments. So it began I was so damn determine this time to loose the weight and keep it off so I could have a baby. I started immediately, I was having a protein shake for breakfast and lunch along with working out up to tow hours a day. I was so physically exhausted each day along with mentally  exhausted. For about 3 months I did this and yes I would slip and pig out or not work out, but I was down 25 pound and I was pretty dang proud of myself. I then hit a Plato with my weight . I had a follow up appointment the end of September. I meet with Dr. Folks NP named Heather, OMG can I just take a moment and say how much I truly LOVE her she is a heaven sent! OK so I was meeting with Heather and she was somewhat upset with me on how hard i have been pushing myself. She then worked with my and set up a whole diet plan for me which is very similar to the Atkins diet and also not that much working out. I was putting my body into a starvation period because I was not eating enough and working out so much. I started on the new diet plan and started loosing weight again slowly but surely . In November I started having sever cramps and just felt like something was wrong. I still went to work that day, around 11 or so i went to the bathroom and saw parts coming out . I called my OBGYN , that was my first ever partial D&C done in office. I went home and just cried. I called in sick to my boss asking for the next two days off for recovery and she said no problem ( well turned out to be a bigger problem later but oh well) . So  those two days off felt like an eternity . Thank goodness Hans had those days off while he was switch jobs, I don't think I could have handled to be home by myself. I remember crawling into bed one night during those two days and just cuddling up to Hans and crying. I felt like an absolute failure ,  how could I do this again and again , this is supposed to be one of the main thing women are suppose to be able to do and I cant do it. there was so many negative thoughts that came into my head I could write a book of all the things. I made an appointment with Heather and we cried , talked , and ordered more blood work. she was concerned about me having a blood clot disorder that develops on the placenta. So more blood work, it came back saying that I had a small blood clot disorder and they put me on a blood thinner. I went back to working and normal life , still dieting  and working out. The holidays are always hard Christmas isn't the same if you don't have kids. I try my best to act normal but sometimes it gets to you. during December the fertility center switched my OBGYN for me they didn't care for the office I was going too . January 6th I had an appointment with the new OBGYN, I have to say I was very impressed with him. He works with the Fertility center very well. He ordered of course more blood work twice a month mainly during ovulation time to see if my levels are high enough. He also ordered an HSG test A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test. It looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them.During the test, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube. That tube is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes. They can also show a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. The test also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall. Since the miscarriage in November I was going with out a period , they also prescribed me Provera to help get it started again. The following week I had a appointment with the fertility center again. I meet with them and they decided after talking with the OBGYN that they would move us on to the next steps or monitoring my cycles with ultrasounds and take a higher dose of Clomid to help my eggs and then timed relations with my husband then follow up with a pregnancy test to see if it worked. They told us most patience take 3-4 month to get pregnant when doing this. So Thank you for reading all of this. I hope to reach other people who are struggling with infertility and to let them know that they are not alone.